Competition Day Re-cap

Helloooooooooo! I'm alive and back!!! Did ya miss me?

I know I've been MIA for over a week now and I'm so so so sorry I just dropped off the face of the blog world, leaving everyone hanging like a cheap, plastic clothes hanger. After months of prepping and blogging about contest prep thoughts, frustrations, joys and successes, I finally made my goal and then POOF!, I was gone like cash in your wallet at Christmastime. Bad blogger. Bad, bad, blogger!

The days after my competition were either spent napping (the exhaustion of 4 months of intense training caught up with me, I guess!) or shopping and packing for my Thanksgiving week trip to Ohio. We spent our "day of thanks" with Hubby's side of the family in Columbus and every day was jam-packed with things to do. Seriously, I needed a vacation from a vacation afterward HA! Hubby's side is Italian and there are soooooo many family members, so we were super busy the entire Thanksgiving break. Needless to say, blogging wasn't even on my radar...

Anyhoo, I'm back home now and trying to get caught up on everyone's blogs. It's amazing what you miss in just a week! Sheesh! It looks like everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving, which is great to hear:) I know I certainly did, but my belly sure didn't:( I said this year would be different. That I wouldn't overeat and make myself sick. Fail. Uber fail. Bleh.

I'll get into the aftermath of being on a SUPER restrictive contest prep diet for months on end followed by the "feast of all feasts" (Thanksgiving dinner) (and the "fall out" that ensued the days after) in another post. But for now, let me take you to the evening before my big day!!!

NOTE*** This blog post is more of a play-by-play of the "big day". If you are a fan on FB then 1) you're flippin AWESOME and I LOVE YOU and 2) you've seen most of these pics. I'll get into more personal things about contest prep in the days to follow. Trust me, even though I've been MIA for a week or so, I've still got a LOT to talk about and I'm not going anywhere. My blog break is over and I'm hear to stay.***

The last week of contest prep I was feeling so unbelievable! I wasn't really nervous, per se, but excited and anxious to stand on stage. I felt like I already won, getting to my goal weight and feeling and looking the best I have in YEARS! The night before, I showered and straightened my hair and Hubby (quite enthusiastically, I might add hehe) "painted" me with Jantana, a contest stain.

My fair lady (i.e. Caspar) right before Hubby painted me the night before the show)

Happy with my back progress-- freckles and all:)

Since I am so fair-skinned, I thought that I looked like a Brazillian babe when Hubbs was finished painting me. It was just so weird to see myself so dark. I slept in some winter jammies and on a towel and surprisingly didn't stain the sheets on our bed (thank goodness). Also surprising was how easy it was to fall asleep. I got a great night's sleep!

The next morning I made coffee, changed into my Texas Gunslinger gear and we were off to West Virginia. The competition was at the Wheeling Island Casino, about an hour from Pittsburgh. I didn't get nervous until I saw the exit for West Virginia and then it was butterflies from then on out!

We got there early and had to wait a bit, but then I was one of the first to check in.

I got my competition number, # 67, and then immediately ate my snack- a protein shake and an ounce of cocoa roast almonds (didn't want to eat anything that would make my tummy bloat!)

After I ate my snack, I decided to do my make-up because pre-judging was in an hour and I didn't want to rush.

Hooray for make-up! Oh, and I was pointing to "Texas Gunslinger" on my hoodie:)

Shortly after I finished my make-up is when I realized I still looked quite pale compared to the other competitors. There was a woman there doing spray-tans and she said she could do mine for $40 and so I went from Milk Chocolate Talia to Dark Chocolate Talia in 60 seconds flat.

Major difference in muscle definition with the darker tan as you can see from the picture above in my hoodie. I made the right decision going darker!

I have to say, while I was in the hotel bathroom getting ready, I had the chance to talk to other bikini and figure competitors. Ya'll, everyone I met was SOOO nice! I couldn't believe it! There wasn't an ounce of "I'm better than you-ness" from the other gals and come to find out, all but one in my class of 5 girls had never competed before either! I wasn't the only newbie and we all shared tips and tricks with each other. A figure gal even offered to help with our fake eyelashes and did mine! I'm telling you, the girls were UBER-sweet and it made the competition fun and enjoyable!

After my hair and make-up was finished, it was time for pre-judging. I was nervous, but still feeling pretty good. With only 5 girls in my class I, honestly, thought I was a shoe-in for one of the top two places, based on leanness, muscle definition, and stage presence. I really hope that doesn't come across as cocky, but I just saw a definite difference in physique and with only 5 girls, I thought it was easy to tell who "stood out" more at a bodybuilding show. The girls were sweet as pie, but Sandra (the girl below in red) was the only other girl I thought I compared to. She was muscular and "cut", but still feminine.

I'll admit right now that I don't think I did that great at pre-judging:( I went WAY too fast through my model walk and poses and didn't give my signature send off that I had practiced for months. DRATS! I guess my nerves got the best of me. I was going to give my "guns up" wave, but instead literally just walked off the stage after my final pose without acknowledging the judges. As Napoleon Dynamite would say, "Flippin' idiot!!!" I realized as soon as it was over that I probably didn't make much of an impression with the judges, but decided I'd ham it up more at the Finals show that night.

Pre-judging comparisons

Once pre-judging was finished, I went back out to the crowd to sit with Hubbs, Sandra and her friends. A bodybuilder who was sitting in front of us turned around and told me I did a great job and that actually, he thinks I would do great in Figure. He whispered that based on his opinion he thinks I could win one of the top spots and I remember feeling really flattered, especially coming from a male bodybuilder and personal trainer. He said this in front of my husband, too, so he wasn't just trying to pick me up;)

I was starving at this point, so Hubbs and I went to Olive Garden since it was close and we had about 6 hours before we had to be back. I got a LOT of stares and a few snickers in the restaurant because I was ridiculously dark and had a ton of make-up on HAHA! I didn't care though, since I live an hour away and won't ever see those people again. Hubby and I laughed because when we held hands, the contrast was so noticeable!

Ebony and Ivory- HAHA!

I ate a chicken breast with a salad (no dressing) and asparagus and broccoli on the side. I didn't want to eat carbs, because I didn't want to bloat before the final show. (Just in case!) I did drink 2 Diet Cokes, however, and didn't really care much about that. I do what I want hehe;)

After dinner, we met up with Hubby's side of the family. My mother and father in-law, plus sisters-in law came to cheer me on. They drove in from Columbus, OH and it meant the world to me to see them! We went to Applebee's and they ordered lunch and I just had coffee since I'd just eaten. The adrenaline was starting to wear off and I was getting sleepy, so we went to Cabela's afterward and I napped in the car while everyone else shopped around for an hour or so.

When I woke up, I was starving again and since we got a competitor "goodie bag" at the show, I reached for a Colossal Sweet & Salty bar in my 'bag of loot' they gave me and went to town. Ya'll don't even know!!! This protein bar tastes like candy, only better! (Wait, what is better than candy??) Holy gee-whiz-mamacita! I split it with Hubby because, like it's name, it is COLOSSAL. I didn't even think to read the label until halfway through my half and it had something like 44 grams of sugar. DOH! I was like, "rut-ro", but it tasted SOOOO good! Hubbs and I both felt like we were eating decadent candy! It was sweet and salty at the same time (duh!) and after not having ANYTHING sweet in almost 4 months, you bet I was in heaven....for about 10 minutes before I felt a MAJOR sugar crash. My stomach started to bloat and hurt a bit and in hindsight I probably should have waited to indulge until after the show. OOPS! Anyway, you bet I'll be eating these on "free" day. The Peanut Butter Pretzel Colossal bar is also flippin YUM-E...not that I've tried it or anything...hehe ;)

After that, we headed back to the casino for the competitor's meeting and I also got another touch-up on my tan because I was horrified to see that my arm pits were green! ICK! You can't wear deodorant with the tanner and I was SUPPOSED to stop wearing deodorant the day before, but didn't (OOPS!) and apparently it messes with your skin's PH balance and turns areas green! I was mortified, but other competitors had green arm pits, too, so I knew it wasn't just me HA! After another dousing of dark tanner, I was looking somewhat normal again. Phew!

Finals show

Finals went a LOT better than Pre-judging. The judges already know our placings by Finals so I wasn't nervous because "what was done was done". I went out there and took my time at each pose and even gave my little wave like I had planned to and had a blast. It was my time to shine!

I will admit fully, that as the 5 of us were standing on stage ready to hear our placings, I seriously thought I would at least take 2nd. The top 2 in each class become nationally-qualified and I just knew I'd be at least 2nd place. I was wrong. When it was just the three of us up there, and my name was called for 3rd place, I'm not gonna lie, it stung a bit. Ouch! The girl who beat me is SOOO sweet and I have nothing bad to say about her (cuz that is just lame and unsportsmanship like), but I just don't get why/how she beat me??? I swallowed my pride and held my head high and smiled my little heart out anyway. I praised God at that moment that I made it that far, regardless!

3rd place trophy

Smiling, though I'm perplexed that the girl in lavender got 2nd

Standing next to Sandra who won our class. She has an awesome physique and is such a spicy gal! And, would you believe she's 37? She's one hot mama!


Picking up our trophies

Exiting stage, feeling accomplished! I did it!!!

Backstage, I did feel a bit embarrassed that I placed 3rd, right smack in the middle of the bunch. For a very brief moment I felt upset, but then realized that this is my first show and I still have a lot to learn. I was humbled and realize I can always bring a better package to the next show:)

I will say this--before we went on stage for BOTH pre-judging and finals, there were stagehands backstage (think big, muscular meatheads HA!) who kept saying over and over to "Sex it up, ladies! We want a lot of a** and a little class". I'm sorry, but that is NOT HOW I ROLL! They were saying things like, "Think Playboy, with just a bit of classiness." BTW, isn't that an oxymoron, m'friends? BAHAHAHA! I remember thinking, "um, if that is what the NPC wants, they certainly aren't getting it from me!" Two of the other gals in my class were definitely "workin' it", but I have my husband and extended family in the crowd, and I just don't feel comfortable "sexin' it up" for strangers. If that cost me, then so be it. I'm not going to stick out my rear in a wide stance to try to place 1st. It's just not happening. I can admit I wasn't acting "sexy" on stage, but I don't think you have to act to exude sexiness. I think you can just be sexy. I chose the more bubbly, playful, confident model walk and pose and don't regret it...at all.

OK, enough ranting!

After the show, my precious in-laws had chocolate and a personalized trophy waiting for me. I had planned on not splurging, but hot dang, those chocolates looked SOO yummy and I went to town BAHAHA! My amazing husband brought me THE most beautiful roses I've ever seen and, after pictures, we all headed to a nearby Mexican restaurant for dinner. (you can see all those pictures on my Texas Gunslinger FB page:)

I know I say it a lot, but I don't think I can say it enough. THANK YOU SO SO SO MUCH FOR YOUR SUPPORT AND ENCOURAGEMENT! I am infinitely thankful to have readers and people following along on my journey and there will be much more ahead. This is just the beginning and I'm excited for what's next! I'll fill you in on my plans for the next few months in another post this week, as well as talk about what I'll call "The Aftermath" (dun, dun, dun) and how things have changed with my diet, exercise, mental and spiritual state and perspective. I also want to talk about some new kitchen creations I've found as well as upload a vlog within the week. Stay tuned!

Until then, have a beautiful day and know that you all are 1st place in God's eyes and that is all that truly matters:)

Love,
T:)

3rd Place!!!

Hi you fabulous friends!

I am just poppin' in to say "hi"! I'm still soooo exhausted from yesterday- both physically and mentally- and am spending this gorgeous Saturday resting with my Love. It was such a long day yesterday and I just want to "unplug". However, I can't wait to tell you all about my first ever bikini competition experience tomorrow! I'll be back to post a re-cap and upload more pictures. For now, I just wanted to say THANK YOU FOR YOUR THOUGHTS, PRAYERS and SUPPORT!!!!

Love,
Talia
NPC 3rd Place -Short Class

PS--you can check out some of the pics on my Facebook page. If you aren't already a fan, well then whadayawaitingfor??!

Big Primpin', Spending Cheese....

Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi!

I have so much energy this morning (can ya tell!?) Everybody has been telling me that the last week of competition training (Peak Week) is very stressful and that competitors are so tired and lethargic and can't sleep, yadi yadi yadi. Not this girl! I have slept better the past week than I have for four months! My energy is also through the roof and I can't contain the excitement and anticipation towards walking on stage Saturday! Of course, Saturday I will most likely be a ball of nerves (it'd probably be weird if I wasn't, right?) but as for now, I am just so...so...high? Yeah, that's it. I'm "high" on life!

Because I am so energetic, I'm not going to spend too much time writing this post and will condense things into bullet points to give a few updates. I heart bullet points!

• As of this morning, I am only 0.4 lbs away from my goal weight! You can't even begin to know how excited and accomplished I feel! My goal weight has nothing to do with this bikini competition, either. I've wanted to weigh this much since high school and just never could...(actually, turns out I most definitely could, but just gave up on myself...)

• I think I mentioned this before, but I am not water depleting or carb loading or doing anything out of the ordinary (diet wise) this Peak Week. My reasoning is that I've reached my weight goal, regardless of this competition, and I plan on maintaining this weight in "off season". I am at a healthy weight and my body fat is not too low, so I didn't want to do anything that would mess with my head mentally by losing a bunch of water weight and then gaining it back quickly right after competition. I know myself, and I'd probably freak out. Besides, this isn't Figure, so it's not expected that I have a chiseled six-pack (good thing, too! HA!) so I don't think I need to cut water. Not to mention, I'm thirsty!

• That being said, I am drinking a cup or two of this fine tea from The Republic of Tea. Why, oh, why have I not tried this brand before!?!? I am drinking "Get Clean", which contains dandelion root which is known to act as an all-natural liver and kidney detoxify-er/diuretic. This is the closest I'm getting to "cutting" my water. Remember, I do not have a personal trainer so on top of my main reason for not wanting to water deplete before the competition, I also don't really know how to do it and if you do not do it exactly as you should, then A) you may come in looking flat and dry and 2) you could really get your electrolytes all out of whack and end up cramping, fainting, or worse. No, thank you:)

• BTW, I realize that I wrote A) and 2) up above. I did that on purpose :)

• Yesterday, my Darlin' went with me to the mall so that I could pay a visit to the MAC counter. The girl was very helpful and we found a shade that will match my Jantana, but still look good on my face. I have VERY fair skin, so it was really interesting to see my face and neck so dark. I also picked out a R-O-C-K-I-N' lipstick and lip gloss. It's BOLD, but that's how I roll! I have to bring a little bit of "Talia" to the stage and big, bright lips are my thang! The judges sure won't miss my smile! hehe Not to mention, the bold color makes my teeth look so flippin' white! Like Ross from Friends, white! Remember that episode? HA!
  

• I love shopping with my Hunk! I value his opinion so much and he was so helpful with me as I tried on new workout yoga pants. I was still wearing a size Medium up until yesterday and I'm tellin' ya, they made my butt look like a dried up prune! Seriously, they were so big and scrunchie and not flattering. I bought the same w/o pants brand (New York and Company) but got the XS size instead. I wanted to get the Small cuz they were "cozier", but hubby said they were still a tad bit loose and that the XS makes me look like I have a butt. Hey, if that means hubby will still be checkin' out my butt, I'm SOLD! HAHA! :)

• I get my nails done and a pedicure in...DOH! 20 minutes! Gotta run! I'm "Big Primpin', Spending Cheese" and it's time to "RI-I-I-I-I-IDE"...

Have a beautiful day!!!

Talia:)

My Personal Trainer, God

Well, well, it's Wednesday! 3 more days! Ahhh! I'm so so so excited and pumped up!!! It's funny, because I have been stressed, anxious, scared and tired for the past few weeks, but this week (of all weeks, too, being peak week!) I feel PHENOMENAL, ENERGETIC, FEARLESS and CONFIDENT! I'm in such an amazing, joyous mental-state with a positive attitude about the competition on Saturday! I think being only ***ONE*** pound away from my goal weight, plus buying those four new pairs of jeans the other day, have really made me realize that I'VE ALREADY WON THIS!!!

Each morning this week I wake up feeling excited to count down the days. My morning cardio workouts have been AWESOME and I pass the time talking to God and praising Him for allowing me the health, stamina and support to train for this. He is my Rock and it's only through His grace that I've persevered through this. I can't tell you how many times throughout these past few months that I've gotten choked up while working out, just because I'm so grateful to God for all the blessings in my life. Truly, there are times my heart feels like it will explode with love, gratitude and praise for how far God has taken me on this journey. All glory and honor goes to Him. I know, I know, God isn't personally spoon feeding me my meals/macros or moving my feet like a puppet as I burn all these calories in the gym. However, His Spirit is what truly "moves me" throughout the day, and without that inertia, I sure the heck wouldn't be where I am today. No doubt.

I started on this journey with God as my "Personal Trainer" and that has been the single reason why I've been able to accomplish my goal. Trust me folks, I've tried it on my own since high school and never even came close to achieving what I have in terms of a healthy body weight. Yes, eating clean, strength training and cardio will get you a great body, but I'm talking about more than just the outside. Everything about my life is better. I'm much more energetic, positive, joyful and self-confident. I feel I treat others better because I've learned to treat myself better. I am strong and passionate about life in general and all the possibilities that await me. I have the desire to 'pay it forward' and help others change their lives, too.

Whether or not I return home Saturday night with a medal or trophy really doesn't matter. (I mean that, too, by the way.) At the end of the day, whether the judges like my physique or not isn't really the issue. You know why? Because *I* like my physique. What matters the most is that I can wake up the next morning (around 10am, of course!), open my eyes and say, "We did it!" With God, my husband, family and friends cheering me on, I will have accomplished my goal. And, I will share my accomplishments with you, too, because each comment or e-mail has encouraged me more than I could ever say!

Well, I just ate my pre-workout protein shake + two brown rice cakes and think I've given my body ample time to fuel up for my Chest/Tris/Ab workout today. I'm still hittin' the gym hard this week, but I'll be taking a week off from lifting all next week to recover and rest. I think it will be hard not to lift, because I love it so much, and I know I'll be tempted to go, but I know it's best for my body since I haven't taken a strength-training break since May. Actually, I'll be visiting family in Ohio next week anyway, so I guess that will make it easier to "KEEP OUT" of the gym and force myself to rest. (Though, if I take my running shoes, they can't hold me down and keep me from running. I'll probably still do a daily morning jog/sprint workout so that I won't feel too bad after eating yummy food on Thanksgiving;)

Love ya lots!

Talia:)

Express Yourself

Hi there...back again! Hubby is at the Pens game tonight, livin' it up in the company box with his co-workers, so I thought I'd post again. Posting has become a therapeutic way to balance my thoughts...especially this week:)

OK, so I posted this already on my Facebook earlier today, mainly because I still don't flippin' believe it. For the past month or so I've been noticing that my two pairs of jeans (yes, I only had TWO pairs of jeans because I didn't know how much weight I was going to lose and therefore tried to wear the same few pairs as long as I could) were getting baggier and baggier. All my life a Size 6 jeans were what I considered my "skinny jeans". I would diet and finally get to wear them for a month or two, before putting the weight back on. If you read my 'About Me' page, you'll find that during my first year of marriage, I packed on a lot of pounds. I remember when my Size 8 Express jeans no longer fit and I ended up having to go buy a Size 10. Rather than change my bad dieting habits, I took the lazy route and cashed in on a bigger size. My, how times have changed!

This summer I remember doing a happy dance when I finally squeezed back into my "skinny jeans". Same as always, that lasted all of a few weeks before those didn't fit. However, this time they didn't fit because they were beginning to sag and sag and sag. I remember having to buy new jeans and rejoicing when I bought two pairs of Size 4 jeans back in August. Those are the same two pairs of jeans I've been wearing to this day. However, I've lost 15 lbs since then, so you can imagine how saggy those jeans have been on me the past few months.

This past weekend Hubby made fun of me because my jeans were too big and I told him I definitely need to get new jeans that fit, but that I had wanted to wait in case I lose more bodyfat. I am not planning on losing much more weight. I'd say 7lbs at the MOST and that is only because I really want defined abs. I'm all about being and staying healthy and don't ever want to get to a place where I lose my period or suffer other side effects from too low bodyfat. It's just not worth it to me, no matter what the prize. But, it would be awesome to have a more defined stomach. (Sorry, I totally went off on a tangent...back to what I was saying.) I've been hanging on to my Size 4s for as long as I could, but today I bit the bullet and decided to shop for new jeans.

The first place I went was to New York and Company because they have jeans that come in "Short". This 5'1 1/2" midget can only wear "short" jeans and even those, without shoes, cover most of my feet HA! Anyway, I saw they had only one Size 2 in Short so I grabbed it and tried it on. They did not fit me. They were too big. I couldn't believe it! I kept checking the label inside and out because I thought they must have labeled it wrong (I used to work there in college and sometimes employees "sticker" them incorrectly...not that I ever did HA!) Anyway, they were too big so I went back and there was one Size 0 sitting there. I looked at it like it might bite me, but thought I may as well try it on because I flippin' need jeans that fit.

They fit...comfortably.

I kinda stood there in the dressing room looking at myself like I didn't know what to do. I just never thought in a million years I would be lean enough to wear a size so small. It's my hips. They have shrunk so much. However, I ended up not buying the jeans because the pockets were too low and it made my sorry-excuse-for-a-"butt" look super flat. Sigh.

I then decided to head over to Express. I was nervous going in there because the last pair of jeans I bought from Express were the Size 8s I was talking about earlier. I thought, "Surely, Express jeans run smaller, so I'll probably have to go up a size." It was like I was giving myself a "pep talk". ***Gosh, I can't STAND vanity sizing and how a stupid, freaking label can make a gal feel "less than". It really is disgusting and I guess I'm still not "there" with my self/body-image....but, I'm workin' on it:)***

Anyway, long story short, Express was having a sale. Buy one, Get one 50% off. I also had coupons with me so I was hoping I'd find jeans that looked and felt good.

Ladies, I was in there for like an hour trying on every single pair of jeans. I started with Size 2s and those felt a bit loose. Then I tried on Size 0s and they felt really comfortable and I swear I kept checking the labels and even grabbing another exact pair because I was sure there were 'defects'. How is it possible that I can wear a Size 0? What the whaaaat?

I ended up buying 4 pairs today. My rationale was that I don't think I'll ever be a size smaller and don't care to be. What am I, twelve? I may as well buy several pairs because then I'll be set and don't need to worry that they'll get too baggy on me. They fit so comfortably and were not tight at all (except the one pair of ultra-low rise skinny jeans I bought. They were a tad snug in the quad/calf region, but that's because my muscles are BIG! I mainly bought those pair because I can tuck them in my winter boots. Otherwise, I'm not a fan of skinny jeans. (BTW, does anyone else hate how we label things as "skinny". I don't like the message it sends, to be honest.)

One last thing.

I really debated whether or not to write this post or not. On the one hand, I'm seriously in awe how much I've transformed my body and still can't believe how much body fat I've lost. On the other hand, I do not want people comparing each other based on a STUPID SIZE. We all have unique, individual bodies with different body frames and measurements. While I am now wearing a smaller size, I also don't have "curves" anymore-- something I've had my entire life. Remember my very first post how I disclosed that I've always wanted a breast reduction because I was so curvy? Well, turns out, now I need a freaking' lift HAHA! And, don't even get me started on my missing butt! I may wear a Size 0 jean now, but I know a lot of girls who may wear a bigger size, but fill it out--in a great way! I, on the other hand, am going to have to work my tail off (LITERALLY!) just to fill these puppies out. Sigh. You just can't win, can you? HAHA! ;)

So, my point is, don't let a freaking size or label determine how big or small you feel. I've spent my entire life comparing myself to my teeny-tiny friends. I know how that goes. But, throughout the past 6 months, I've learned to truly LOVE my body. Not for a size or how it looks, but how strong I am and all that my legs, arms, shoulders, core, heart, hands, feet, etc. do for me on a daily basis. I cherish my body and thank God that I am healthy and able to do all I do. I can run, jump, swim, dance, kick, bike, climb etc. and I appreciate all my body can do. I hope that you all do the same, regardless of where you are in your health journey. Whether you are a seasoned veteran athlete or someone that is just embarking on a healthy lifestyle change. LOVE your body. TAKE CARE OF your body. CHERISH your body. The past week with my knee pain and having to ice my leg and rest more really has me appreciating my body and I don't want to take it for granted.

The end.

The In-Between

Happy Monday, ya'll!

Can I just say that it's so good to be alive?! It's been such a great morning and I'm just truly thankful for so many blessings and feel such joy and happiness as I begin my last week of contest prep. Can you believe the competition is only 5 days away! Oh....my....gosh!!!!

This past weekend was kind of a "mini retreat" for me. My Sweet One went to Columbus, OH for the weekend to visit family and go to the Ohio State/Penn State game. I could have gone with him, but decided to stay back because it is the weekend before my competition and I really wanted to stay focused and get all my workouts in and not worry about meal planning, etc. I know that may sound completely ridiculous to some of you, but I was also looking forward to having a weekend all to myself to collect my thoughts and spend some time with God to prepare mentally for the challenging week ahead. I love love LOVE my in-lawsloves, but we'll be heading to Columbus for Thanksgiving a week later so I'll get to spend time with them then:)

Anyway, from my last post you've probably gathered that "Auntie" was in town all weekend. There went my nice, relaxing weekend down the toilet like a dead bug. I swear, I was an emotional wreck half the time! Instead of a nice, relaxing, calm weekend, I missed my hubby like c-r-a-z-y and wished I was not home alone with my thoughts of self-doubt, inadequacy, fear, etc. I blame Auntie for a good portion of this. I was also bloated and the scale was up 2lbs (duh, because I was bloated!) and that only added to my anxiety. I kept thinking, "There is NO way I'm ready for this!" As the weekend went on, I realized maybe what I needed most was to be distracted, not focused solely on the competition.

I can't tell you how happy I was when hubby arrived home yesterday!!! I ran out to the car as if I was in some cheesy Hallmark holiday movie and nearly toppled the poor man in excitement! He was only gone for 2 days, but I missed him like crazy! My husband is my very best friend and while it's nice to have a "girls night" every once in a while, there is nobody on earth I'd rather be with than my husband. He is my rock and always knows what to say to make me feel better:) I told him all the fears and doubts going through my head and he just listened and gave me awesome advice. Sure enough, we ended the night laughing without a care in the world. He has that affect on me:)

I think a lot of my fear is the "unknown". I read so many articles on bikini competitions and never can get a clear picture of just what exactly the judges are looking for. Some say they want more of a "softer physique" (more about presentation, hair, makeup, etc) and some say it's more about a "tighter physique" with defined muscle tone and symmetry. Some winners look more like a Sports Illustrated model and some winners look more like an Oxygen magazine fitness model. I'd look at some pictures of winners and think, "Rut ro, I've got wayyyy more muscle than these girls" and then I'd look at another picture of a different winner and think, "Oh, she's a lot leaner/smaller than I am." I started to question if I was going to "fit in" with the mold. Yet, I don't actually know what "the mold" is.

I'm definitely muscular and athletic-looking...

I heart striations:)

Yet, still look so small.

BTW, this picture (directly above) makes me look way smaller than I am. I was a little shocked when I first saw this pic, so I think it's a bit distorted or something. I look like a Smurfette in that pic HA! It's also the first picture I've taken where I realize I've lost just about all my curves. Not quite sure how I feel about that. And, I guess I was frustrated in this pic, because I kept hitting the wrong button on my camera. I look so A-N-G-R-Y! (somebody needs some chocolate, huh? HAHA!)

So, after taking these progress pics, I really feel like if you were to place me somewhere in between a Bikini competitor and a Figure competitor, that I'd probably be somewhere "in between" or if anything slightly leaning more towards looking like a Figure gal. I'm definitely NOT lean enough for Figure (not by a long shot! "Auntie reminds me of this during her monthly visit. Yep, she's still hanging around, which means I'm still at a healthy bodyfat percentage) but I'm also more muscular than a LOT of the bikini girls I'm seeing. I guess I'll find out on Saturday whether I "fit in" with what the judges are looking for in this division. ***To my fellow competitors especially, I'd love to hear your thoughts/opinions of where you think I fit in based on your experience and observations at shows*** :)

That brings another frustrated point- the judges. It seems pretty subjective to me. Some prefer softer. Some prefer more muscular. Some prefer a "prettier" package. Some prefer more personality. It really is "up in the air", it seems. I've read blogs where girls place in the top 5 at one show, then turn around and do another show weeks later and place near the bottom. Curious and curiouser....

Well, it's feeding time again and I'm hungry! I'm going to eat lunch and then go shopping for jewelry for the show and stop by the MAC counter to see if I can get some make-up to match my Jantana. This should be interesting!

I hope you all have a beautiful, joyful day!

Talia

QUESTION:

1) Do you like spending time alone? I'm all for a night "in" to watch a chick flick or take a nice long bubble bath and have "quiet time", but after about a day or so I start missing my man. I think it's very healthy to get time alone once in a while, but for me, nothing beats being with my Love:)

2) Have you ever found yourself in the "in between"?

Show me the Money

Happy Saturday, friends!!!!

Man, oh, man! You can't keep a good girl down! Yesterday I took a c-o-m-p-l-e-t-e rest day and it was soooo flippin' hard to stay on the couch with my knee iced and elevated. It felt like TORTURE to not do any exercise, but I had to take it easy to let my knee heal! Praise God, though, because I woke up this morning and my knee feels pretty darn good! It's not 100%, but I'd say maybe 90% all betta:) I even cranked out 60 minutes of moderate-intensity cardio on the recumbent bike this morning and I'm feelin' gooooood! I'm ready to do this! ONE WEEK today, baby!!!

Auntie arrived yesterday, too, (booooo hisssss!!!) so I was straight up "straight-jacket" stressed HAHA! I had the worst cramps ever and my cravings were outta control, but I managed to keep it together thanks to some Ibuprofen and Tylenol, which make their appearance once a month when needed. Trust me, they were most definitely needed! I also ate one Deep Chocolate Vitamuffin (100 cals) last night and don't feel a darn bit guilty. It was either that or break stuff, so I figure that was the lesser of two "evils";) Seriously, though, I am so so so thankful that dear ol' Auntie will be g-o-n-e by next weekend. Can't have her around (or her bloat!)

Here I come to save the dayyyyyy!

Today I feel SO SO SO much better! After breakfast I took a mid-morning bubble bath and now that I'm squeaky clean, it's only natural that I head back to the gym to sweat it up again for a Chest/Tris/Shoulder/very light Leg workout!!! I've gotta make up for the past two days of rest. It's so ironic how I went from a gal who would do anything not to go to the gym, to a gal who can't stand taking a day off HA! I know, I know, rest is SO very important, but I still don't necessarily like taking an entire day off of zero activity. Ah well, it makes TODAY that much more motivating for me to "get er done" in the gym!

I promise I will have pics up coming soon! We just bought a new camera (with HD video, YAY!) and I'll (or rather my Hunk Hubby) will be taking TONS of pictures, starting with the night before as I pack and get "painted" and all that good stuff! I feel like I'm getting ready for prom or my wedding day with all the waxing, manicures, pedicures, jewelry shopping and hair and make-up fussin' going on! HAHA! Anyway, I'll be taking a zillion pics then, so you'll just have to wait a few more days for pics, m'kay?

Before I go, I wanted to share with you one of my FAVORITE songs of late. When I hear this on my iPod, I get soooo excited and pumped up and may or may not walk with a bit more "swagga" across the gym floor! hehe I've adopted this song as one of my "Top 5" bikini competition songs. ENJOY!!!

PS- My favorite part of the song is about 1:15 minutes in;)